Redefine Your Identity
authentic self that you feel honestly depict who you are (even though you may be less happy about having some of these traits).
For example, on the left side of the page, you may write something like "I am able to always make the best of any situation." On the right-hand side of the page, you may be honest with yourself by writing, "I can be very abrasive with people when I get angry." Should you find yourself stuck, try completing these sentence stems as a way to get started:
Left side of page:
My needs are . . .
I feel good when . . .
I am most happy when I am . . .
I think I am . . .
Right side of page:
I wish I was more . . .
I run away from . . .
I would be happier if I . . .
I need to be . . .
By beginning this type of introspection -- and recording your thoughts and ideas on paper -- you begin to create a profile of the real you.
Now take a good look at the paper in front of you. What does all of this say about who you really are? What aspects of yourself (from either column) might you want to change? What does all of this say about the kind of life you need to be living?
By creating a multidimensional view of yourself, you begin to increase your self-concept. You create greater balance in your life because you are aware of the many qualities that shape who you are.
When people focus their entire lives and worlds on one skill, one identity, one way of being, one job title, or even one person, to such an extent that they exclude other dimensions of their personalities, the universe often has a funny way of throwing them a big curve ball.
For Gordon, a diagnosis of clinical depression and his current state of numbness forced him to seek help in order to figure out what would make him happy and how to get there.
Fortunately, you don't need to wait for something drastic to happen to decide that it's time to reassess your self-concept. If you define your existence by what you do for a living, then you are already living in a state of imbalance.
The more intricate or complex one's view of self is, the more resilient our self-concept is to the stresses of the world.
