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I Think, Therefore I Feel Better

Well it's actually pretty easy. You control your thoughts by first being aware of them. Being consciously aware of your thoughts in the moment that you are having them is similar to the old adage: "You can't fix a problem unless you are first aware of the problem."

By being aware of your negative thoughts, you have the ability to change them. By doing so, you ultimately change how you feel and react.

The best strategy for gaining control over your negative thoughts...

  1. Pay attention to your thoughts in moments when you feel a strong negative emotion.
  2. Ask yourself, "What was I just thinking?" By becoming more conscious of your internal thought processes, you begin to stop reacting and instead recognize how your thoughts created your present feelings.

    Catching your negative thoughts is a lot like hitting the brakes when you come to a stop light at a busy intersection. Being mindful of your negative thoughts stops them from continuing on their own. It also means that you are no longer simply reacting to them.

  3. Finally, challenge your negative thoughts in order to disprove them. Are you making interpretations and assumptions based on the truth - or on your version of the truth? I teach my clients to use the phrase: "Where's the evidence?" to challenge their negative thinking.

When you actually start to look for evidence that your boss "hates you idea," you realize that there really is none. The only real evidence of this would be if he were to have said so. Everything else is simply your interpretation of the situation. True, your boss may have been

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