Q:
I have an eight-year-old that is terrified of everything at night and has difficulty going to sleep in his own bed. We have tried everything we can think of, including "monster spray" and checking his room with him for anything scary. I am at my wit's end. What should I do?
A:
Systematic desensitization is something that parents find helpful in training a child to sleep in his own bed. It is time-consuming and can be a challenge for you as a parent, but it allows your son to feel small successes and build up his confidence toward the overall goal.
The idea in systematic desensitization is to negotiate for your son to initially fall asleep with you in his bed and to sleep in his bed for at least one hour. The next night is two hours, the next...
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Q:
How can I teach my eight-year-old worrier relaxation strategies that she will use? She is a highly sensitive girl.
A:
The first step may be to 'train' your eight-year-old to recognize the 'early warning signs' of worry. Have her tell you about what she notices as she becomes worried (and what happens as these feelings continue and become stronger). The key for her is to be able to recognize the early warning signs so that she can then intervene....
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Q:
My six-year old daughter has autism. The minute something is right for her she gets very upset. She hits me a lot and bites herself very badly. What can I do ?
A:
Many children in this age group are testing out boundaries with their parents and will act out quite strongly if things aren't going their way. Parents sometimes reinforce bad behaviours by giving in and therefore....
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Q:
While I don't think that I have an obsessive personality, I do find that at times, I become caught up in an obsessive need to complete tasks. It's like I need to finish what I am doing before I can do anything else - no matter how long it takes. Even though the task isn't a priority at that moment, I can't seem to stop. By the time I'm finished, I'm too mentally exhausted for the other things that I need to do. This happens both at work and with projects at home. Do you have suggestions that could help?
A:
There can be times when finishing a project brings a sense of accomplishment and inner satisfaction. The most important thing is to consciously choose what you do. Since it sounds like you don't always feel in control of your actions, I would recommend that you come up with a simple strategy that helps you to remember to be aware of what you are doing. With greater awareness comes greater control in what you decide to do (and for how long)....
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Q:
My life seems to be a constant rat race. Between a full time, high stress career (which often takes me away on travel), and two small children under six, I am always frazzled! Even though my husband and I have a live-in nanny, I feel like there is never enough time for the kids, him, -- or myself for that matter. I've been feeling desperately exhausted and cranky most of the time, and like I'm not in control of my life. Help!
A:
Your feelings seem to be quite justified! It doesn't take much before our lives begin spinning off in a whirlwind, carrying us along with them. Even while you feel out of control, it's important to remember that you are always the one in charge....
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